3:59 pm
Blink. Blink. Blink.
It feels strange to be staring at this disappearing line again. It is waiting for me to give my raw and real thoughts and words. What wisdom do you have for the people now? What have you been preparing in that mind of yours? It has been too long.
Honestly? I don’t know. I feel like the Lord was telling me that it was time to say something. To put myself out there. So here I am, doing something that I have never done before. Writing uninspired and unprepared.
I am currently in an Airbnb in Checotah, Oklahoma because I have been on this “Kingdom Interruption” road trip for 85 days now. The corona virus caught up with us in Missouri as we were just getting into the groove of ministry and connecting people together. The Lord was doing some incredible things. And boom. Brakes slammed. It isn’t super easy to serve people while quarantining. I guess that’s what you get when you call yourselves Kingdom Interruption. You get interrupted.
I am not going to lie. It was hard. It was hard before the shutdown. I was viewing my level of accomplishment as my worth. If I wasn’t saying wise things or helping people or even wearing a smile on my face then I was a burden and dead weight. These are the lies that I told myself.
Matt decided that we needed to get away and refocus. Not only from civilization, but each other for a little while. So we packed our stuff, bought some camping supplies, and headed for the woods of northern Arkansas.
Never in my life have I spent multiple days alone in the woods like that. Just me and the Lord. I knew the other men were camping nearby somewhere if I needed them, but this was a time for me to reflect.
“Why is it all so heavy, Jesus? Where did this anger, fear, and apathy come from?” These are the questions that I went in with. But as is usual, the Lord wanted to start somewhere else.
Good morning, Philip. Isn’t it a beautiful day? I made it for you. Look at those butterflies! Look at the deer! Look at this waterfall! Look at that snake! Do you want to climb that mountain? Do you want to go for a swim? You’ll love the little fish in there. Do you know that you are my son? Do you know that I care for you just as I care for all my creation? Do you not see how the birds live in freedom?
“Wow. You are such a good father to me. I am a king because of you.”
He always likes to take the attention off of my problems and the lies in my heart and mind by shifting my gaze onto His goodness and His love for me. He heals brokenness with the gentle touch of joy and truth.
Why do you live as though you are not free? Do you not trust me with your heart?
Galatians 5:1 says, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.”
I have reread this so many times. Stand firm. How do I stand firm? How do I protect my heart from anger? How do I fight off these demonic dreams that torment my sleep? How do I motivate my soul to be you in my daily life?
1 Timothy 1:18-19: “This charge I entrust to you, Philip, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience.”
Remember the Truth. Remember the words that others have spoken over you. Remember who I call you. And use these as weapons against the Enemy. Use my promises as daggers in the night. Use my steadfast word as a sword by which you conquer death. Trust me and I will be with you. Stop trying to do it all on your own.
So I guess that is what the Lord wants to remind you of too. I forgot who I was because I was focusing on the surrounding waves too much. Take this time to ask Him who he says you are. He is forcing the entire world into Sabbath. Do not miss what He is trying to say. Do not submit to the yoke of slavery. Whether it is the lies, or apathy, or addiction, or anger, or unforgiveness, or anxiety, or depression. You are free from that.
I am reminded of Paul and Silas in Acts 16. They were thrown in prison and beaten and chained. They lost their “freedom” to go wherever and see whoever and do whatever. Sound familiar? Then an earthquake hit that broke the chains, but they didn’t rush out. They didn’t because they were already free. So they waited for the Lord to move them.
You. Are. Free. So be free.
Jesus, thank you for this time. Keep those closely affected by this virus safe. Let us all use this for our good. Let it not be a wasted season. “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
5:01 pm
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wow. dang this is so good. a much needed reminder. wow.
amen. thank u.
phil this is so good. thanks for sharing this:) it reminds me of when peter got out of the boat to walk to Jesus and started sinking when he took his eyes off of Him and started worrying about the waves.
beautiful as always Phil. never stop sharing how the Lord loves you
Nothing better than a fresh Word from the Father! 🙂
really thankful God compelled you to write this. you may have been unprepared and uninspired, but the encouragement and conviction of Holy Spirit moved through you. you’re a vessel! he doesn’t need your energy or inspiration, just your yes.