I WON’T LET YOU GO

To preface, I did not write these incredible words. They are the lyrics of the the song “I Won’t Let You Go” by Switchfoot. This song nearly brought me to tears the other day when I had my headphones in and was singing praise to God. He won’t let me go! Listen to it here.

When it feels surgery
And it burns like third degree
And you wonder what is it worth?
When your insides breaking in
And you feel that ache again
And you wonder
What’s giving birth?
If you could let the pain of the past go
Of your soul
None of this is in your control
If you could only let your guard down
If you could learn to trust Me somehow
I swear, that I won’t let you go
If you could only let go your doubts
If you could just believe in Me now
I swear, that I won’t let you go
I won’t let you go
When your fear is currency
And you feel that urgency
You want peace but there’s war in your head
Maybe that’s where life is born
When our façades are torn
Pain gives birth to the promise ahead
If you could let the pain of the past go
Of your soul
None of this is in your control
If you could only let your guard down
If you could learn to trust me somehow
I swear, that I won’t let you go
If you could only let go your doubts
If you could just believe in me now
I swear, that I won’t let you go
I won’t let you go
I’ll always be by you side, yeah
If you could only let your guard down
If you could learn to trust me somehow
I swear, that I won’t let you go
If you could only let go your doubts
If you could just believe in me now
I swear, that I won’t let you go
I won’t let you go
(I won’t let you go)
I won’t let you go
(I won’t let you go)
There ain’t no darkness strong enough that can tear you out from my heart
There ain’t no strength that’s strong enough that could tear this love apart
Yeah there ain’t no darkness strong enough that can tear you out from my heart
There ain’t no strength that’s strong enough that could tear this love apart
Never gonna let you go
Never gonna let you go
No I won’t let you go

Over the past couple of days, I have been feeling discouraged because I feel like I traded one set of normalcy for a different normalcy. I wasn’t feeling or hearing anything from God. I mean I came on this journey to help change lives and grow in communion with Jesus, but all I’ve been doing is building a wall. Yes, the wall is for good. Yes, I love being here with my squad. But I felt that I was letting things happen to me without me trying to act upon the situations. I am in a dry season and feeling numb when I should be sprouting and being filled with peace. THEN I heard this song and the chorus spoke directly at me!

You want peace but there’s war in your head
Maybe that’s where life is born
When our façades are torn
Pain gives birth to the promise ahead
If you could let the pain of the past go
Of your soul
None of this is in your control
If you could only let your guard down
If you could learn to trust me somehow
I swear, that I won’t let you go
If you could only let go your doubts
If you could just believe in me now
I swear, that I won’t let you go

Whoa. But that’s not all. The next morning I was reading in Mark chapter 9. I’m going to paraphrase, but the full story is from verses 14-32. Jesus descends from the mountain after the Transfiguration, and is meeted by a father whos son is possessed by a demon.

“Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech… I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”
“O unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”
So they brought him.
“How long has he been like this?”
“From childhood,” the man answered, “But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

I believe that you will do great things through me, Jesus. I know that through pain and hardship comes the promise of peace. I know that even though I don’t know what You are saying to me, You will never let me go. I will seek You out because You seek me out. Help me not be part of the unbelieving generation. I know the works You can do, and that I have the authority to do those same things. And even though You are speaking to me quietly, I will listen.
None of this is in my control.
I will let my guard down.
I will learn to trust you somehow.
I know that You won’t let me go.
I will let go my doubts.
I will believe in You now.
I know that You won’t let me go.

PS I love music and express myself through the songs I listen to, so I may write more blogs in the future about songs that speak to me. Consider it my own collection of psalms. 🙂