a fisherman and the carpenter

There was a point when I didn’t recognize His name, nevertheless His voice. Simon Peter, the son of a fisherman, and a fisherman myself dropped it all when I realized the potential of what I stumbled across. My brother Andrew said that He was the Messiah. Jesus of Nazareth. The Healer of the sick, and Rescuer of the captives. The One I have learned about ever since I was a child. Imagine it! Me, Simon! Friend and follower of THE Promised One! The Prince of Peace! The Savior of God’s People! And He is asking for ME?!? He even freaking gave me a new name! Peter or Cephas- the word for “rock” which is pretty ironic cause I’m not the most steadfast guy. Sticking to one side or decision in pretty difficult for me. And following Him could be the greatest investment ever to fall into my lap. If He is who He says He is, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for Him! If He isn’t I would be a fool among my colleagues and my friends. Surely, I should at least give it a shot, right? Well, I did and Jesus pulled through! He was at my house and healed my mother-in-law in an instant! That doesn’t just happen! It definitely peaked my interest, I’ll admit. Now, let me tell you about the day I believed it ALL.

 I was fishing all night. There were moments throughout the early morning hours that I was sure the waters would be pretty well occupied with fish. I tried all my best techniques and maneuvers but to no avail. The morning came and I had nothing to show for the hours of toil and labor I had just worn myself out with. As I was coming to shore, there was Jesus. There was a crowd forming and Jesus, recognizing me, chose my boat to stand in to teach them. Yeah, I was tired but the opportunity to have a front row seat intrigued me. He taught with such power, authority, confidence, and – humility. After He finished, He turned to me and told me to go out into the deep water and throw out my nets. I remember being kind of taken aback and confused. 

“Jesus, I fished all night in the shallow and caught nothing. You want me to go out to the deep during the day?!” It was one of those moments where you instantly regret saying the last sentence and quickly say what you assume they want to hear, so I said, “But whatever You say.” 

I did what He told me and guess what? My ship started to sink with the amount of fish in it. Immediately, I felt ashamed. Dang it, Peter! Way to go. You made a fool of the Messiah by questioning His authority. I beat myself up pretty bad, but Jesus only responded in love. 

“Peter, follow me. You will catch even more than this.” So I did. I put all my chips in. All or nothing. And for three years I saw the Son of God live out a glorious life. 

There were many, many times when I spoke what I was pretty confident would impress Jesus. But He wasn’t impressed. I made a fool of myself in front of Moses and Elijah. Nice goin’, Pete. I did not let Jesus wash my feet when He was the One who could clean me. I cut off a man’s ear when they tried to touch Him. I mean how can they hear truth, if you cut off their ears? I need to work on thinking before I do, but Jesus always showed grace. And when He told me to step out in faith and follow, I am proud to say, I did. Even though I turned away my gaze for a moment, He was always there to reach down and pull me up. 

Then there was THAT night. Passover. Jesus kept talking about what we were to do after He left. Confused, I asked Him, “Jesus, where you goin’?” He said that where He was going I couldn’t follow. I would have to wait and follow afterwards. To say that I was a little offended would be an understatement.

 “Jesus! Why can I not follow you now? I would lay down my life for you! I practically have!” 

And He said, “Oh, really? Because you’ll deny me.”

 It wasn’t true. I couldn’t deny Him. I put too much on the line to throw it away like that. So we continued with dinner. Then Jesus took us out to pray, but I fell asleep. Three times. Three times I denied him in my actions. Afterwards, the whole ear thing happened and they took Him. They took Jesus, they tortured my friend, they butchered Him, and they killed Him. And here I am, His “best pal.” Peter, the man who followed the “Messiah!” who was killed all too easily. Had I put my trust in the wrong things? Were all the things I saw over these years just put to death with Jesus? People started recognizing me and I didn’t want to die. Would I die for Jesus when He was alive? Yeah, sure, maybe… but when He’s dead? What would be the point? So if they asked– I didn’t know Him. Three times. Three times I denied him in my words. 

I would just try to go back to my old life. I could probably get my old boat back and start again with the night fishing. Maybe I can make enough to move out near the country away from the crowds of bloodthirsty people. One of the evenings soon after, I was with Thomas, Nathaniel, James, John, and a couple other of the guys. 

“I am going fishing.”

They said to me,“We will go with you.” 

We went out and got into the boat, but that night we caught nothing. There was somebody out on the shore. Just a silhouette. “Children, do you have any fish?” 

We yelled back, “No.”

“Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” 

I was pretty annoyed. but maybe he could see some fish from shore. So we cast the nets, and we were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish.  I remember turning and seeing John’s face light up and say “It is the Lord!” Was it Him? Of course it was! I’ve seen this before! Dang it, Peter! Why did you assume He was gone?!?! You settled for this fishing? And still He is abundant and merciful. I threw on my clothes and jumped into that water and swam! I swam harder than I ever had in the entirety of my life. I had put in all my chips and won. And my friend was waiting for me!!! The other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, because we were not far from the land. Jesus was waiting with bread and we ate fish with it. The classics, ya know? 

After breakfast, Jesus pulled me aside. He looked me in the eyes and asked “Do you love me?” 

“Yes.”

“Feed my sheep. Do you love me?” 

“Jesus! Yes.” 

“Tend my sheep.” I was getting nervous. I know full well that I denied Him. Three times. PLEASE don’t ask for a third time. 

“Peter. Do you love me?” … I was holding it in. 

“Jesus, please. You know my mind. You know my heart. You know that I love you.” 

“Then feed my sheep. Your life is not yours anymore. Stop trying to protect it and instead give it up for me.” 

Okay. I will. I love you. There was a time when I didn’t recognize His name, nevertheless His voice. Now the Messiah is my friend and His voice is my relief. When I hear Him say follow me, I rejoice because I know now it doesn’t rely on me. I will catch the plenty and not have to do anything but thank the Lord. So you. You who didn’t know His voice at one time. You who stepped out of the boat and followed. You who He calls friend. Don’t forget Him. When everything is dark and He seems distant and gone, don’t do what I did. Stay steadfast. Rejoice in the fact that HE is Alive. HE is who He said HE is. And we get to follow and reap the harvest. Rest in His presence. He will wash your feet clean so you can walk in holiness. Feed His sheep. Listen for His voice. And keep your eyes on Him cause even the seas won’t be able to swallow you. 

Peter

written by philip wilson. may 23, 2019. battambang, cambodia.